Instill Positive Thoughts With Children
by Pamela Harper |
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Art Linkletter coined the phrase "kids say the darndest things." I want to include "parents and teachers say the dumbest things."
If I knew then what I know now I would have been much more concerned with the terms I used to direct my children's behaviors. I would have eliminated the words never, always and should.
Hypnotherapy is based on the mechanisms of the subconscious mind. Children are more or less in an unpretentious mental state until around the age of 12. They are highly suggestible, their minds function like a sponge as they soak in and absorb every word they hear. They have not yet developed the critical factor possessed by the adolescent or adult mind.
Children believe every thing we tell them, after all we are the adults and we know everything and we continually remind them of that. So when we tell them they are loved, they believe it and when we tell them they are stupid, unfortunately they also believe it.
Proof of subconscious naivety is exhibited in the fact children believe that Santa slides down your chimney and delivers toys to the whole world. We try so hard to protect them from hearing the truth about Santa and yet when their immature behaviors frustrate us we yell out, "You are driving me nuts."
Each time the child is reminded that they are the source of a parent's insanity, discomfort, inability to relax, or a financial burden, it adds another layer of distress and confusion.
In defense of myself and parenthood I will add that I think we mean well. I just didn't realize that I was framing my attempts at guidance in the form of a rejection. Every single word is monumental because the child's undeveloped psyche is not able to sift through the verbiage to uncover what you "meant" to say.
Memory and learning are the most common issues I address with young clients in hypnosis. Grades are often the red flag with teachers and parents ... If this kid doesn't pass, he will not only fail this class but he may keep failing and he will never leave home. Fortunately hypnosis works so well that many times one visit and a tape to take home to reinforce suggestions for change is all they need to reverse impaired thinking.
Negative habits can start off quite innocently and then take on a life of their own, turning a mole hill into a mountain. If for example a child was more interested in toys than reading, a sibling or adult might inadvertently say, "You have to practice reading even though you don't like it." The child then internalizes the statement. If the inference takes one pattern they will assume the role of the "unmotivated reader".
The fidgety child is labeled "hyperactive". The insensitive adult offers hopelessness when decreeing, "You can't ever sit still." Rather than turn the behavior around, its sets up the next episode.
Let me give you some very simple and effective treatments that you can easily try on your own. Your attitude and words are the most powerful tools for initiating change.
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Use empowering statements: "You easily do a great job on your homework because you want to finish and play. (Rather than, "if you don't hurry up you can't play.")
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Catch them doing something, anything, wonderful. "Thanks for going to the beach with me." In our effort to produce good citizens we forget that they came into the world as perfect little beings.
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You can easily hypnotize your own child. Because they are already in a relaxed mental state, you can use the opportunity while they are watching TV to give them hypnotic suggestions. Remember to always use positive statements, leave out all negatives such as no, don't, can't or shouldn't. When they are tormenting their younger brother you will say, "You are kind to Junior because you really do love him and it makes you happy to see him smile. Repeat it three times for a few days in a row and wait for the magic.
Successful treatment of many childhood problems such as night terrors, phobias and eating disorders are accomplished through hypnosis because we are literally reprogramming the mind to issue new commands. The brain is more powerful than any manmade computer and responds systematically to input. let us consciously instill love and hopefulness.
Contact me by email for a free list of additional techniques.
(C) Copyright 2005, Pamela Harper |
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